10 Reasons Why The Rich Hate Warren Buffett

1. Buffett’s favorite food is …

Buffett's favorite food is a cheeseburgerA Cheeseburger! Not even one filled with caviar. Buffett loves popcorn and has a penchant for Coke!

C’mon Warren, we have a reputation to keep!

2. Buffett has pledged most of his wealth to charity

Buffett pledged most of his wealth to charityBuffett has pledged, not 25%, or 50%, or even 75%, but 99% of his wealth to charity! And on top of it, Buffett has the audacity to ask the other masters of the universe to do the same!

If we, the rich, go bankrupt, you Mr. Buffett, will be solely to blame.

3. Buffett’s kids won’t get to run Berkshire Hathaway

Warren Buffett's kids won't get to run Berkshire HathawaySince Buffett has pledged most of his wealth towards philanthropic causes, that leaves his kids very little, relatively speaking. None of Buffett’s kids will get to rule over Berkshire Hathaway after him.

Both the Murdoch family and the Walton family strongly disapprove of this practice.

4. Warren Buffett pays less taxes than his secretary

Warren Buffett is asking Uncle Sam to tax him more!Good for you Mr. Buffett! The fact is we do too, but we don’t brag about it. Did you really have to say that out loud?

5. Warren Buffett is asking the US to tax him more!

Warren Buffett pays more taxes than his secretary When companies like Blackwater and Haliburton are moving overseas to escape the heavy burden of US taxes, you are asking for a tax rate as high as your secretary’s? Are you nuts?! Mr. Buffett, don’t destroy everything we’ve worked so hard for.

Lobbying isn’t easy or cheap.

6. Buffett doesn’t stand by his closest friends

warren buffett does not stand by his friendsThe friendship between Buffett and Gates is legendary and almost natural. Two of the world’s wealthiest men, both democrats, both share similar interests… Yet, Buffett didn’t invest a penny in Microsoft stock. Despite Microsoft being one of the largest, wealthiest corporations in the world and despite Gates’ insistence, Buffett decided to pass. photo
Gates sobbed silently that night.

You’ve let down your family *and* friends Mr. Buffett.

7. Buffett is dismissive of gold

Buffett dismisses goldFor someone with such staggering amount of wealth, you would think he would love this precious metal. But this is what Buffett had to say about Gold:

It gets dug out of the ground in Africa, or someplace. Then we melt it down, dig another hole, bury it again and pay people to stand around guarding it. It has no utility. Anyone watching from Mars would be scratching their head.

Seriously Mr. Buffett? Mars?

8. Buffett is a hypocrite

Buffett invested in Goldman SachsIn his 2002 Annual Report, Buffett called derivatives as financial weapons of mass destruction, yet invested in Goldman Sachs, the masters of derivative trade!

9. Buffett refuses to stimulate the economy

buffett drives his own carBuffett could hire a hundred chauffeurs if he so wished, yet insists on driving by himself. Needless to say the Sit-tight Chauffeur Association of the Rich and the Famous (S.C.A.R.F) are not pleased. They have mouths to feed and bills to pay.

10. Buffett is an anachronism

Richard Branson of the Virgin Group is building a spaceship for sub-orbital flights, Jeff Bezos of Amazon is building a space facility and was recently awarded a grant by NASA, Sergey Brin is investing in Space Adventures, that pioneered space tourism for the rich and wealthy.

Warren Buffett recently made a $34 Billion purchase of Burlington Northern, a railroad company.

When asked to comment, an anonymous rich, while waiting for his valet to fetch his Bugatti, had this to say about Buffett’s contrarian play:

“I don’t want to dignify that with a comment”

Me neither.

Photo copyright: Universal Pictures
Disclaimer: Parody folks, free speech, satire and and all that!

38 thoughts on “10 Reasons Why The Rich Hate Warren Buffett

  1. And I thought it was all because he was born without money.

  2. Great list. In line with Biz of Life I have to add “because he is a self made man.”

  3. He is featured today in NY Mag on the Approval Matrix, next to City Maps and Eliott Spitzer!

  4. Buffett does not invest in any hi-tech, he only invests in things he understands.

  5. Clever post! I wrote about his some of his other, expanded gold comments, and it got some interesting feedback. Clearly, some don’t totally agree with him. Actually, I think you commented if I recall:)

    Buffett is an interesting, quirky character – at least in relation to his role in the world of investing. Despite his quirks, we would all want to have his investing acumen (and net worth!).

  6. Heh, funny take on this. Did you read The Snowball? He reminds me of one of my grandfathers in that book :)

  7. Warren Buffet, a household name in fact. Nice fun-buffet fact list. :)

  8. Ha! I love his commentary on gold. Funny and true. Yet I’m along for the ride…

    • Yet those who had invested in Gold during the lost decade would’ve made more than Berkshire Hathaway.

      Just sayin’…

  9. I like his comment on gold also. I’m not into gold because you can’t come out ahead with it. I like a lot about Warren except that he’s a hypocrite & that he doesn’t try to understand tech. We can’t all be perfect, I guess.

  10. Awesome buffet of Buffett facts! That’s a great quote on gold. It makes sense, but with the markets getting tossed around a bit, every flees for safety!

  11. Fun post Moneycone! I had no idea about the cheeseburger, haha that’s funny. No lie, I overheard a colleague say “Who’s Buffett?” the other day – I almost choked! -Sydney

  12. Pretty clever little post, although I agree somewhat with #8. Berkshire has also sold put options on the S&P 500 index before. He also owned quite a bit of silver but sold way too early and is now dismissive of gold. Seems truly hypocritical to me in a way.

  13. Awesome post. Your insight is very entertaining. Maybe the rich don’t like Buffets absence of nepotism, but I’m sure Berkshire Hathaway investors appreciate it. If only Rupert Murdoch was the same way.

    • Listening to others voice-mails can be an addicting hobby!
      To be fair and balanced, you need all the facts after all!

  14. Insightful and entertaining at the same time. Just got The Snowball from the library. Have you read that one before?

  15. Great post! I like Branson though, he is a pretty cool Billionaire.

  16. You dug up some good stuff about Buffett…Buffett is one heck of a character but I wouldn’t want to be him. I want to be ME where the only thing we share in common is the self made label.

  17. I will love Buffett because of his favorite foods — cheeseburger, popcorn, and Coke. It shows he still enjoys the simple things in life.

    But I hate him for donating 99% of his wealth to charity. It is not bad to give to charities. I am, in fact, encouraging my children to share whatever little we have to the homeless and orphans. But giving away 99% of what you have is ridiculous! I think he is insane.

  18. Haha! I like the fact that Buffett likes cheeseburgers and he pledged 99% of his income to charity. It shows just how humble and down to earth he is.

  19. well i like the fact that Buffett does not mix friendship with business! It’s good that he maintains a clear business mind and is not swayed just because he is buddies with Bill…

  20. I love Buffett, he lives his life like he doesn’t have as much as he does. If we all lived like we had 1/2 the money we do, more people would have their financial house in order.

  21. It seems Buffer is a rich man but not act like it. :D

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